These Feet Are Made for Walking – And That’s Just What They’ll Do

I can feel my toes.

Not touch my toes.

Feel my toes.

For the first time in 18 months, I can feel a sensation in the tips of my toes. My toes almost feel like toes and not the numb digits that have been desensitized by the chemo drugs and their side effects.

My feet were numb from the toes to the pads, but never any further.

Neuropathy affected my balance.

I used to be able to do the dance pose in yoga. That’s where you balance on one foot while the other foot is at 90 degrees behind you, and you are leaning forward. No more.

I could walk normally.

I could drive normally.

I almost didn’t think about it during the day.

But at night, in bed, I could feel electric shocks coursing through my toes and feet. Some people experience intense heat or cold. I was lucky in that I felt nothing. Who would have thought that feeling nothing could be a good feeling? Still, it wasn’t like feeling normal.

What Neuropathy Means

The medical term is “neuropathy.” I hadn’t heard the term before. But Google has. It shows me ads for neuropathy treatments every time I go online.

Neuropathy means the nerves in my toes are damaged. In my case, they are numb. Other people feel heat, cold, or tingling. It can always be worse!

The Cleveland Clinic has a nice visual definition: “Your nerves are like cables carrying electrical signals all over your body. When the cables get damaged, the electricity can’t flow where it needs to, and they can short-circuit. When that happens, you can have pain, numbness, tingling, and muscle weakness.” https://my.clevelandclinic.org/services/neuropathy-treatment

What I Refused to Accept

I had heard of people who had severe cases of neuropathy. Their entire feet were numbed so that they couldn’t walk. Couldn’t drive. Couldn’t get around except in a wheelchair.

I decided that was NOT what I wanted.

The Plan to Save My Feet

I started an aggressive plan never to lose my feet. I don’t care if the doctors say the recovery is not always possible. I was going to get my toes back!

I attended Pilates classes three to four times a week. The first exercise in nearly every class is to push your toes and feet against a resistance bar for five minutes in various positions.

I used a squishy ball to stimulate the nerves in my toes, arches, soles, and heels.

I did agility exercises to improve my balance. I walked around the exercise equipment in the gym in a figure 8 loop.

An Unexpected Breakthrough

A big breakthrough came when I discovered a machine that massaged my feet.

Roughly.

Not tenderly like a masseuse.

Roughly like a Russian torture master.

It hurt like hell.

But I could feel my feet responding. I discovered this amazing contraption not at a medical store but at the Car Show. The massage guy was in a booth next to the leaf filter guy. Next to the local newspaper subscription guy. You never know where a breakthrough will meet you face to face.

I put my feet in this contraption every day. It doesn’t hurt at all after a while.

Changing Meds

A few months ago, my doctors removed the offending medication from my plan.

I asked if I could get my feelings back on track.

They said I might. The nerves are usually damaged. And if I did regain the feeling, recovery would take more than a year.

A Breakthrough

Four months ago, I felt something in my toes that felt like a normal feeling.

I hit a plateau. It didn’t get any better.

Then, two months ago, I began to feel more sensations.

Then, I hit another plateau. It didn’t get any better.

Yesterday, I felt more sensations.

Luck or Effort?

Was it luck?

Was it the meds?

Was it my massage regimen?

I don’t know. But the neuropathy didn’t progress.

Mindful Steps

I also realized I was shuffling my feet. Like an old man.

I had gradually lost the toe-to-heel walk, which is normal. Due to the numbness, I didn’t realize I was walking awkwardly. I made a mental note to concentrate on the act of walking. Heel to toe. Heel to toe. Heel to toe.

I was learning to walk correctly again.

Dad Knew Best

Ironically, my father was a podiatrist. I used to think in the back of my mind: Why didn’t you become a real doctor, like a heart surgeon or a brain surgeon? Why become a foot doctor? Now I realize how important feet are. If you can’t walk, your life changes forever.

Your Turn

What can you do to improve your neuropathy?

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